Husbands make us wives do some pretty weird things......I have had to sit through sporting events and even cheer...I never knew what in the hell I was cheering for...I just cheered for the cutest team or the colors that I like best! I try to make the best out of EVERYTHING! Whenever everybody else stood up, I did too. I'd scream and try to do that whistle thing that you do with your fingers in your mouth.... I Never did perfect that damn whistle but, I could swear real REAL GOOD...and I'd scream cuss words at them stupid a$$ GOALIES that robbed us of the TKO...STUPID A$$holes...Grrrr!!!! Really though, I was COMPLETELY CLUELESS...I tried hard though, real hard...All I wanted was for my husband to be HAPPY!......He NEVER seemed happy, EVER, he always tugged my arm gently (looking at me with a pathetic sad face) and told me to sit down and then he would thank me kindly for trying
(he looked kind of embarrassed really)
I tried lotsa stuff...I remember when I was 19, I went on my first business dinner with him...Paul told me to act sophisticated "ummmm, YAY RIGHT!" That was even harder to do back then than it is today and it's pretty damn tuff today!...The waiter set a glass of wine in front of me (assuming that I was old enough to drink being I was on a business dinner...UMMMMM.... NOPE) AND SLAM ......AND CHUG........ AND GONE!.....I got elbowed under the table really really hard, (I bet I'm still bruised!) anyway, the guy we were with started sniffing the wine cork (weird and dumb, I still think that's really dumb!) I looked around hoping no one saw how STUPID this guy was acting!!!..... I will never SNIFF a wine cork, if I want to know if the wine is good....I WILL TASTE IT!.....Besides, Boones Farm has a twisty cap and boxed wine doesn't even have a cap or cork, it has a valve and I'm NOT SHOVING A VALVE UP MY NOSE!!! Anyway Yes, Paul makes me do all kinds of weird things like I said, his newest weird thing that I have to follow along with while kicking and screaming is, GUNS.... I resisted at first, then I finally realized that I can bank all these weird a$$ things that he makes me do and maybe one day I can cash them all in at once and make him wear a dress, and paint his nails, while we shop together ♥ Wouldn't that be fun!?......The first time that we were going shooting... I thought, "YUP, I'm going to be great at this and cute too and I'm going to put these men to shame with my mad shooting skills...PIECE OF CAKE!!!"....I pictured myself like this...
.....Awww....I thought I looked darling with a machine gun.....I was even thinking of making something like this my next Christmas card ♥♥♥...YAY RIGHT, BULL SHIT!!...DARLING????.... NOPE!!!!! ...We went shooting....HOLY CRAP!!!! THAT'S SCARY!!!!! There is nothing cute or adorable about shooting a gun, AT ALL!!!!...I didn't even want to hold the thing....Knowing that you are using something that if screw it up EVEN ONCE, you or someone else (hopefully someone else) could DIE, is SCARY AS HELL!!!! Needless to say, I couldn't control the gun, the kickback was so strong that it blew my shirt clear off my body and threw me back into the trees ....I wish it would have killed me or at least knocked me out .... then maybe this picture NEVER would have surfaced...SHOOT ME PLEASE!!!!!
