7 day challenge....For the child that leaves messes behind

7 day challenge....For the child that leaves messes behind

DAY 1....See this table? It was clean at 3:00 p.m. yesterday afternoon...Then a A NATURAL DISASTER came through here (IT HITS MY HOUSE EVERY DAY AROUND THE SAME TIME)....AND we may need FEMA'S help!!!.....A TORNADO TOUCHED DOWN RIGHT IN MY KITCHEN AND MY FAMILY ROOM...it is the one called "Shelby" Shelby is a 10 year old tornado....I'm conducting what we will call a "weather experiment"...I will not be calling Fema in for assistance THIS TIME....I will not be telling the one called Shelby that she has left her homework and library books strewn about the kitchen table........I will NOT remind her that she needs them for school, I will not be the mom that I always am FOR 7 WHOLE DAYS..instead I will offer ....NO HELP...No reminders...I will ignore the messes and irresponsibility..Lets see what happens to MY HOUSE and HER SCHOOL WORK...I'm not doing her any favors by giving her a cushion for her fall! Do I seem frustrated?....YES.....YES I AM!

 

Dear Diary: Day 2 of OPERATION "Leave Shelby's messes where ever she puts them"...IS MAKING ME WANT TO RUN AWAY!!!......I wonder if any of you (THAT HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE) can hide me out for a week until THIS LITTLE EXPERIMENT IS OVER!!??? The half eaten pear that is sitting on my table next to the used paper towel and study sheet near the FORGOTTEN HOMEWORK and a few inches away from the crayon box that is touching the LIBRARY BOOKS near the Pop-tart wrapper in a bowl that is touching MORE HOMEWORK near the pencil that's touching HER AGENDA that she FORGOT again this morning is bringing out the OCD in me BAD!!!...."SOMEONE" seems to have forgotten her homework here AGAIN TODAY (it's two feet away from the ROTTING PEAR CARCASS!!).....and SOMEONES mother has been in "secret" contact with someones teacher to make sure that Someone gets BUSTED for day 2 of forgetting school work!...SOMEONES MOTHER IS A MEAN MEAN MOM!!! BUT "SOMEONES MOTHER" WILL RAISE INDEPENDENT SELF MOTIVATING PEOPLE EVEN IF IT KILLS HER!!! Also Diary, I'm about to try this DISGUSTING looking noodle thing that is zero calories and I think it's gonna be the death of me and make me wanna barf....if no one hears from me it's cause this noodle thing made me die!

DAY 3.....THE WEEKEND EDITION.....Today had no change other than 1 more pair of shoes on the family room floor and she is avoiding sitting at the kitchen table due to lack of room...However, She did scan the kitchen table and take an extra ...long time looking at the rotting pear, but then she moved on.......I was hoping by now she would have realized that all these things are hers...BUT NOT YET!...<---THAT WAS THIS MORNING.....Now for this afternoon......Shelby has shifted the mess from one side of the table to the other so she has room to sit with her friend.....Shelby actually said to me: MOM, WHY DID YOU PUT MY HOT CHOCOLATE ON TOP OF MY AGENDA.....(I laughed on the inside.....I so badly wanted to say 1. Because there isn't room anywhere else and 2. WHY IS YOUR AGENDA ON THE TABLE? ...But I bit my tongue and simply said "whoops, I guess I didn't realize"...SHE SPILLED A LITTLE HOT CHOCOLATE ON HER AGENDA THEN ACCIDENTALLY DUMPED A WHOLE GLASS OF WATER ON HER HOMEWORK THAT HAS BEEN THERE FOR 3 DAYS!!!!!!!...I am so curious as to what will happen next.....Thank God her teacher knows what I'm doing.
 

It's day 4 of OPERATION I'M NOT CLEANING UP AFTER SHELBY...this rotting pear showed up on day 2......So our second experiment will be called "What happens to a pear when it sits on the table for 7 days?" It's... a sweet Red Bartlett pear...It likes hanging out at home and movie nights...It's favorite memories include sitting in the Michigan sun and going to the fruit market...If anyone thinks this is too much....remember, Shelby is one year away from middle school and must be responsible for her own work and her things or she will get lost in the shuffle...also....she is in NO trouble for this...she isn't getting grounded or yelled at......I have an unconventional way of parenting and I enjoy every minute of it...I will show her my little diary after all is said and done...She will UNDERSTAND THIS COMPLETELY......I'M SURE OF IT! My kids understand me....they may not like everything but in the end they understand. I make jokes, but I take the success of my kids VERY SERIOUSLY.....I never wanted to be a doctor or a ballerina.....I only wanted to be a good mom....... oh and a comedian... and a supermodel and a fashion designer....and a teacher...and a back-up dancer....... oh and a hairdresser...but MAINLY a MOM!

 

WE ARE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL!!!!...Day 5....Shelby was at her friends house ALL day yesterday so we had very little change....WE DID HOWEVER, HAVE A BREAK THROUGH: Last Night before her night time routine.....(without me saying a word) Shelby walked over to the kitchen table grabbed her agenda and her home work and placed them in her backpack so that she would be prepared for the morning!.....Again, I almost had to leave the room to hide my true feelings.... I wanted to HIGH FIVE HER!!! Pat her back and scream: YES!..GREAT JOB!!! But I didn't ....I quietly sat on the couch with my husband acting like I hadn't noticed and I didn't say a thing ........Also today is library and her library books have been on the table since DAY 1....They have been there so long that they got buried under the study sheet that has been there since day 2....SHE WALKED OVER THIS MORNING AND GRABBED THEM WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!!...AMEN....THAT IS GREAT PROGRESS.... it means that she forgot nothing OTHER THAN A HOARDERS SIZE MESS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE! BUUUUT then.... After breakfast, she looked at the table and said, "TODAY AFTER SCHOOL, I'M GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS TABLE!!!!!!!!" I WAS SO STINKIN EXCITED ON THE INSIDE but remained cool as a cucumber on the outside and just said: Why? ....She said, "OMG MOM!! Look at it!! Don't you think it's messy??? I said, "well, I guess.. I hadn't noticed..it is kinda messy isn't it?" She said, "YUP, Look there is even a rotten pear!" and she walked away!!!.......PRAISE JESUS!!!......I'M SO PROUD OF HER!!!!! ......P.S. Bart the pear says hi...He is growing fur now and looks quite distinguished...Sucha handsome little devil! ;) He would also like to introduce you to his NEWEST friend "SPILLED MILK"....I think Spilled milk will only be here for a short time if Shelby keeps to her word ♥

 

 

DAY 6: She didn't even make it to the 7th day!!!....THAT was VERY DIFFICULT!......I am ecstatic to say that MY TABLE IS CLEAN AND BART THE PEAR IS DISPOSED OF WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALONG! Shelby understood this experiment VERY WELL. The pictures of the progress were a GREAT IMPACT for her. She didn't like it AT ALL! But she got my message loud and clear. I am under no expectations that my 10 year old should now act like an adult an...d clean up after herself ALL OF THE TIME or REMEMBER her homework EVERYDAY. But I AM expecting that she will be just a little more aware of what she can create and how fast she can do it (The messiest table was ONLY day 3) I also expect that she can take a little more responsibility for her own homework......I expect these things and I know she will deliver.....She could not wait for me to take a picture of her cleaning off the table....There's the happy ending....Proof that she WANTS to live in a clean/organized environment......And the other happy ending is GOOD BYE FUZZY BART THE PEAR!....You wanna know the truth...Your facial hair sickens me and you didn't look distinguished at all.... you were starting to look like an IDIOT!!!

"MAKEOVERS FOR INMATES"

People often say to me, "Erin, you have too much time on your hands" I say, "NOPE, I'm not even wearing a watch DUMMY, you are!!!"...So clearly, you are the one with "time on your hands" not me! I wouldn't say that you have "too much" time on your hands though, cause you're only wearing ONE watch.  If you were wearing two or three watches, THAT'S JUST TOO MUCH, now isn't it?!....so here I am with NO TIME ON MY HANDS, writing these blogs, why? Because I love to write and I love to think (even though sometimes it hurts a little.)  Why is it that just because I am doing something that I love, people think that I'm doing something that shouldn't be done?  Do I have to do something TERRIBLY BORING to earn the right to do something that I love...( I mean I do IRON, doesn't that count?)...I have to do things that I love to stay happy and for those of you with TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS...TRY doing something you love every now and then and quit thinking that it's wrong....unless it actually IS WRONG, like don't go stealing a car and smoking a whole mess of drugs and then when the cops come you throw your hands up and say, "HEY Erin told me to do something that I love and she even said that it's NOT wrong"...Then we are both in trouble...and I don't wanna get arrested for telling you to do something that you love...Plus, could you picture me in jail??  OMG, I think I would die...I would probably get beat everyday, and called names, and forced to join a gang, and pull one pant leg up, and tie a bandanna around my head with some bad a$$ braids, all while limpin with a gangsta lean, just to look intimidating!  AND What if I had to get a tattoo???

Then when the guards were done ruining my life, the inmates would have their turn to hate on me...I have a feeling none of them would like me very much, but maybe I could sway them with an AWESOME MAKEOVER DAY, what girl wouldn't love that???....I'd stand on a chair while we are in the lunch room? mess hall? dining room? ...(screw it, whatever the place is where prisoners eat) and I'd yell...... "ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP...put your teeth back in B1TCHES, we are having A MAKEOVER DAY" and they would all perk right up and stop hating on me, cause they are girls and girls like that! And if those jerky guards wouldn't give us any cosmetics and makeover paraphernalia (<---that's prison talk for makeup brushes and tweezers) then we could use our food with natural dyes (cause them b!tches gotta feed us)...... we could squish up our raspberries and put it on our lips for lipstick (FUN) and we could take beets and squish those all to hell too (no one eats beets anyway...GROSS) and use it for blush, We could grab some dirt from the play field? outdoor time area? play ground?...(whatever the hell they call that place where they let you stand outside and tan for a while, I see it in movies)...anyway, we could grab a buncha dirt and add water to it and do mud facials!!! And I could make a SHANK out of my toothbrush (isn't a shank where you turn regular stuff into makeup brushes?)   THIS WOULD BE SO FUN!!!!!...So please PLEASE please the next time you do something TERRIBLE tell your arresting officer that I said it was OK, so I get arrested too! ...Omg, I almost forgot!!  That's right!!!!!..... I wouldn't go straight to jail, I would need to be arrested first! I would be arrested, hand cuffed, and told all about Miranda's rights!....Do you think it would be offensive if I asked my arresting officer to keep his hat on and talk in a really sexy deep voice?????.....ohhhhh this little daydream JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER!!!!

 WOW!!!!!!!  My arresting officer looks exactly like  Enrique 'Iglesias and why am I smiling, this is supposed to be TERRIBLE! I think I want to RESIST ARREST! Just DON'T TASE ME BRO!

Written by: Erin Kenaan

My poor husband

Every morning Paul reads my blog and I know this, so I feel bad, after all we are married..... I AM NEVER EVER SUPPOSED TO THINK ANY OTHER MAN ON THE PLANET IS ATTRACTIVE and truth is.......... I DON'T (PAUL DON'T READ THIS.....I'm lying) I don't EVER notice good looking guys EVER (PAUL DON'T READ THIS....I'm lying) I only look at men for this blog and the whole time I am ONLY thinking about the women reading it and what THEY would like to see (EVEN I CALL BULLSH!IT on that one) (ummm, I don't think I can actually call "bullsh!t" on MYSELF can I? Is that allowed????) Well whatever,  I FINALLY got "THE CALL" that I have been expecting since I did the house cleaning post.....and it went like this......

Paul: Erin, I read your blog again this morning and holy sh!t is that all you do all day is look up guys on the Internet? Really Erin...OMG, you seem to have a problem! Do you need help?
Me:  Ummm what???  No Paul that isn't all I do, did you not notice the clean house, the yummy dinner, and the clean clothes???   You know what, FINE!!!!!!  You want me to look up other things....FINE.... HERE YOU GO, JERK!!!!

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Me: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!!!  OMG this is DUMB SH1T!!!!..... I NEVER EVER wanna look this up again.....OOooooOooohhh wow, geez, look at her...well, zippity doo dah....she's hot...oh yay.... BIG WHOOP!!....... and MOVING ON!!!!!
Paul: Wow you're right, she is HOT, Erin, SMOKIN HOT and THAAAAANK YOOOOU!!!!!
Me: OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS???  EEEWWW She is a DOG look at her, she's all......um gross cause....um she has like........all these nasty and she even has some weird mark near her......ummmmmmm....AND,  WHATEVER JERK, ARE YOU DONE!!!??? I hope not PIG, cause I got 2 more hot girls for you...this time in bikini's!!!!....YOU LUCKY BOY!

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HAVE A GREAT DAY....I LOVE YOU!



Sad no pants guy meets BROWN BEAR!!!!

Did anyone else notice that this blog is also supposed to be about "PARENTING"..... you know, like "children and stuff"...... but somehow it turned into a HUGE exploitation of MEN!!!...KINDA LIKE THIS PICTURE.....Why is that even there???...

WHO CARES WHY IT'S THERE, JUST SMILE CAUSE IT IS!!! 

OK, now that I got that outta the way, lets talk about a guy I ran into on a recent hiking trip...I never did catch his name as I was slightly distracted by BIRDS.... birds and bees......maybe THE birds and THE bees....I'M KIDDING, I didn't even really run into this guy....(hanging my head in shame) it's just a picture from GOOGLE :( But lets pretend for a minute that I did run into this guy on a hiking trip cause it's WAY more fun than the truth, which is..... I'm sitting here conjuring up this big huge fabrication for entertainment purposes, while listening to birds chirp, drinking my coffee, and searching Google for good looking men so you pigs have something to look at!!....I feel like a slave to the MAN, except I'm pretty sure that most of you are females, so actually I'm a slave to the wo-MAN....and YES, I'm livin the wild life!!!

Speaking of wildlife..... this is the guy I was referring to from "MY HIKING TRIP"  and look, this poor guy seems REALLY REALLY DISTRAUGHT, whats with the sad face??!!  He looks Kinda irritated too!  I don't think his sorrow is from being EXPLOITED though, cause he isn't being EXPLOITED AT ALL, not by me at least. This poor fella CLEARLY found himself in an UNFORTUNATE SITUATION. I mean look, HIS pants just fell RIGHT DOWN, that would make me IRRITATED too!!  If I was hiking through the rain forest (like he is OBVIOUSLY doing here) and I was wearing camouflage pants (as to blend into nature) then, AWW CRIKEY!!!! My damn pants just FALL DOWN and I'M SPOTTED by all the wildlife and they run off because my BRIGHT white unders are blowing in the breeze! I would be sad too...POOR GUY! He must have some pretty mean friends, taking a picture of him all sad and exposed :( I actually ran into one of his so called friends and I wanted to ask him why he did such a mean thing to sad no pants guy but....I WAS DISTRACTED by his outfit........

WOW, that's quite a get up!!!  This is "BROWN BEAR" he found his own way to blend into nature, he doesn't need camouflage pants like sad no pants guy...as he has a lovely plush MAN SWEATER!!!  BROWN BEAR chose to blend in with the animals and he did a FINE JOB of it!  Where as, sad no pants guy tried to blend into the trees and stuff and we saw how that panned out for him. Or maybe "Brown Bear" just didn't want to have a "wardrobe malfunction" like sad no pants guy did, so he left his "WARDROBE" at home...Whatever his reasoning, this guy is actually pretty lucky...not only does he NOT have to carry a blanket for when they finally decide to call it a night and pitch a tent but, he doesn't have to share his blanket with anyone EVER!! I'm pretty sure no one would even ask but, if they did... he WON'T look selfish when he says NO!

The conclusion is..... Wear your man sweater with pride after all, it could be worse, you could look like a model whose pants fell down!!!!

Some things that keep me up at night

Last night Paul and I were talking and I used the proverb, "Every cloud has a silver lining" the next hour was spent wondering where these dumb phrases come from!.... Proverbs are actually some of the stupidest things in the English language...while we are on the subject of the English language, can someone please explain the word "Colonel" to me...(WHERE IS THE R???)

Lets dissect some of these proverbs shall we........
1. High on the hog? ...UMMM, excuse me if I'm wrong here, but HOGS are "low" ...shouldn't it be "high on the giraffe" or "high on the elephant" or even "low on the hog"....WHO MAKES THIS STUFF  UP??? Wait a minute, scratch that one,  I have seen people "HIGH on HOGS"....

2. A penny saved is a penny earned...I call "BULSH!T" on this one too, I found a penny the other day and all I did was PICK IT UP, I didn't EARN anything, I didn't work for it, it was JUST THERE! and PLUS, what are you SAVING a penny FROM?? Is someone chasing it, does someone want it dead???? FREAKIN WEIRD if you ask me!!!
3. You don't know what you got till it's gone....That's absolutely INCORRECT....You don't know what you got...Cause you don't got SH!T, it's gone!!!...If it's gone, you got NOTHING and I'm pretty certain that you would KNOW that!
4. (to lighten the mood cause I'm getting a little angry here)....OHHH look, a HOT guy.......




I KNOW I KNOW I tricked you and I'm sorry but, listen, I google different types of  "hot guys" all the time to find pictures for this damn blog ....we will call it "RESEARCH" and  I don't mind it one bit, until HIM that is... he is what came up when I googled "hot SMART guys"...REALLY!!???  Is this what we are left with if we don't like DUMB GUYS!!! I have to write to Google about this, cause I'm pi$$ed! ...Here's a proverb that I made up myself..."You don't know that you're tanning if you're wearing a shirt and you look like George Bush Senior!"

 5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away......UM NO THANKS.....GET THE DAMN APPLE AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!




I THINK I FEEL A COUGH COMING ON!!!!!  no really, "cough cough, ouch!!!" and my stomach hurts too, and I think I have a fever, oh and a rash.....this may take a while!!


6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...No it don't, it makes me miss your stupid a$$!!!!
7. A friend in need is a friend in deed...So lemme get this straight....if my friend needs something then she becomes A BETTER friend?.....HUH?? SCREW THAT!!!!  A friend in need, probably wants to borrow money....I then become "A friend with NO PHONE!!"
8. Cheaters never win and winners never cheat....HeLLLLLO, Did you see Tiger Woods?  He was WINNING WINNING, DUH!!!!!!
9. Don't cross that bridge till you come to it...ummmm CROSSING it BEFORE you get there is not even possible!!!!!  I swear these things make me DUMBER!!!!
10. Don't put all your eggs in one basket...What in the hell am I supposed to do then...carry 12 baskets around the grocery store??...THAT'S JUST DUMB!!!  I don't think I can go on.....I have had enough STUPID for one day!

FINE, OK OK....I'll help you dummies try to score!

I stopped at the store to pick up my Cosmo magazine from behind the cardboard blocker that it's hidden behind cause the titles are so RISQUE' and I giggled to myself thinking, "hmm this is like PLAYBOY but for girls cause the only things behind cardboard blockers are BOOBS and BUTTS....and COSMO!!!"  One could then call this..."GIRL PORN" which differs EXTREMELY from "guy porn"... like, in EVERY way possible!  YES, you are about to get schooled on "GIRL PORN" if you are too mature or too sophisticated for this...you just log off right now, pour yourself some tea, eat a couple crumpets, and wait till about 3 pm, cause I'll be over to kick your A$$ promptly at that time....So now that the grown ups have left the room... Lemme explain some things that are clearly GIRL PORN (but most girls won't ever admit this)....If there are any guys reading this, first, Lemme say, I'm shocked!!!  I'D HATE ME!!!  but GREAT!! ...Pay close attention. Second, take notes, go ahead and grab a pen and some paper, I'll wait!!

GIRL PORN......
1. The movie Dirty Dancing....If you guys acted like "Johnny"  HOLY HELL!!!!! EVERYONE WOULD HAVE  9.5 children running around...No really!!! Watch this movie with your girl...make one pass at her and BAM...She's yours, I promise...oh yeah, and pretend that you want to watch it cause you like how the girl stands up for herself, TRUST ME!
2. The movie Pretty Woman....DEAR GOD, if you guys acted like Edward...I'd have 4 of you! Watch this movie with your girl and pretend that you really feel for Julia Roberts in the shopping scene and don't talk about how hot VIVIAN is..... EVER!!  But instead, speak of how HAPPY you are that she is getting herself out of that lifestyle and finally has some stability (yes, I want you to lie) .....then, hand your girl $50 and BAM...I'm telling you....it will work!!! (yes, it's kind of like paying for sex....SO WHAT!)
3. Romance novels....Stop shaking your head like those aren't GIRL PORN....IT'S GIRL PORN, like it or not!!!....PLUS, "ROMANCE" is in the title EVEN!!!! If you boys were all romantic like that,  no girl would ever say "No"....EVER! Be gentle and sweet to her like these guys are and pretend that you give a sh!t what shade her lipstick is and how her hair flows in the beaming sunlight strand by strand until it gently rests upon her flawless bare shoulder......YUP, a guaranteed GOOD NIGHT!


 


Ummmm since this is the ONLY picture I could choose to add for the Romance novel..I have to put a warning for the ladies..... "Never sleep with a guy that has "Mullet" in his name or even worse HAS A MULLET!!!"....I can't even believe this is a Romance cover...this CRAP would read more like a COMEDY to me, phmf ...some guy with a "mullet" named "McMullet"!!??....If he tried to come near ME with his "McMullet" he'd pull back a "McSTUMP!!!!!"

 
 The reasons you men would never do the things on my list.....
1. You think dancing like Patrick Swayze danced in this movie is not masculine.....WE WOMEN ARE TELLING YOU FOOLS,  WE LIKE IT!!! DEEERR... who cares what your homeboys think when you are trying to score! YOU lie to WOMEN all the time, just lie to them and tell them you said something REALLY PIG-ISH and it FINALLY worked!!! Their dumbasses will probably give you a high five, a stupid laugh, and tip their 40 ouncer to ya.... (DAMN guys are dumb, after this blog, it's back to talking with you ladies, you guys ARE IRRITATING!)
2. You don't want to run a big ole company just to get a girl like Edward did (I actually don't blame you on that one...You're off the hook here)......and hopefully you'd never let a hooker get in your car (I see you squirming... and I heard the rumor about you last summer......GROSS!!)...ok, so judging by the amount of uncomfortable men I see,  most of you are ALMOST an "Edward" and it's because you'd let a HOOKER get in your car...DAMMIT....WHATEVER!!! AUUUGH MEN!
3. You would never act like the guys in Romance novels cause you don't wanna wear tight pants and ruffly shirts and have a sissy name like "Fabio"....WELL,  AMEN to that!!!  (I understand that one too and nor do we want you to look like a homosexual pirate)....Thank god, but if you could act all romantic every now and then....it may be helpful, just sayin!
4. And as far as the Cosmo magazine goes, who are we fooling, this is the only one of these things that you guys are even willing to try, cause it's the easiest.... it ONLY costs you $5 and a tiny bit of embarrassment at the store buying a magazine with titles like..."How To Tell If He's Really Into You and Flat Out SEXY Sandals For Spring!!" but push that embarrassment aside boys and let her read it and she's yours and you'll be happy too...lots of pointers in there but, BEWARE of the "ROMANCE QUIZZES" they are set up to make you look like TOTAL JERKS!! and clearly you're not!
In summery, If you can't get lucky with MY help, then I guess you're screwed...Actually, you're NOT screwed..you're the OPPOSITE of SCREWED, You're UNSCREWED!! Yeah, so if you can can't get lucky with MY help, then you're UNSCREWED!

Freezin A$$ cold

Them bastards got tricky throwing a nice warm day in the mix STRICTLY to confuse me.  NO, I'm not narcissistic, I just believe that it is all for ME or all against ME! ......I like to pretend that the the weather man makes up the weather and he alone decides what the temperature is going to be for that day, kinda like picking out your clothes....this way I have someone to be really PI$$ED at when the weather doesn't cooperate with me. It would be HORRIBLE to be all angry and not be able to direct it at SOMEONE!!  And trust me CHUCK DATIKA, if you and I ever cross paths, you will have some stories to tell!!!  I try to not get angry with people but how can one forgive the winter we had???  I CAN'T!! And now you're gonna tease me by giving me one day to tan, bbq, and watch my kids enjoy the sunshine...then you think you're gonna take it all away (what did I ever do to you?)  and you think you get to walk away scott free????....awww HELL NAWW!!!!!! Get the word out Chuck Datika...You and all your little sissy weather man friends are bout to get an old skool a$$ kickin FO SHO!..(pssst whispering to you), Hey guys, this wouldn't count as a death threat to Chuck Datika would it? I don't want the FBI on my a$$)

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE WEATHER MORE LIKE THIS??????

 

WHAT!!!!???  I'm just kidding, I don't want that weather mans "WARM FRONT!!!"